Invisalign (Set #12!) & Inadequacies

I haven’t blogged enough in the new year so far.  I had meant to write a lot more, but I find myself beginning drafts and quickly letting them become unfinished pieces.  A lot like my life in general, really.  I suppose I could update on Invisalign, I shamefully missed Set 11, so here is set 12:

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The most significant thing about the last two sets have been just a complete lack of discipline what-so-ever.  It’s pretty awful, and it’s funny because lately the only thing in life I have discipline in is whether or not I work out (I rarely miss a day), and my focus on healing my back.

Everything else has taken a backseat in development, and it has me worried. But really, if we were all focused on everything 100% of the time, what sacrifices would we be making? Why is it so easy to feel deflated if we aren’t on all the time? Why isn’t it forgivable to be a little relaxed in some areas of our life?

I guess as I get older I start feeling inadequacies more severely. There are things I had hoped to accomplish by now, or maybe it’s not that at all.  Maybe it’s that I didn’t have things I’d hoped to accomplish by now, and it has me feeling like, “Fuck. What have I been doing? What have I achieved?”

I had always hoped my life would be absorbed in something creative, and instead on my other monitor there’s a cash flow chart and a spreadsheet full of mutual funds.  There’s a very small (yet strangely loud) part of me that wants this blog to spur creativity, spur that drive to reconnect with the girl I was just out of high school.

So today I’m forgiving myself for being a bit off.  I ran into 2015 with guns (biceps) blazing – seriously, I couldn’t stop my commitment to fitness; and it won’t stop either.  But now it’s time to commit to some other important things; creativity, personal development, and happiness outside of appearances.


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