1.
It’s weird (to me) that people like Ben Affleck. I’m not sure why he hasn’t always stayed inside the best friend role in everything (a la Good Will Hunting) and/or continued writing screenplays only. I have NO IDEA why this is my take. Did the whole Gigli / Jenny from the Block thing take me somewhere mentally with him?
2.
In our super suburban neighborhood, we have quite a few homeless people that choose to make their sleeping quarters the shopping center I walk my dog around. This only seems to happen on Saturdays and Sundays where I (right or wrong) assume they’ve passed out from a night of forgetting who they are.
I have stumbled upon a man stretched out just behind a corner (terrifying when you don’t expect it), a man on top of a table in the shaded area of a (temporarily closed) chain restaurant, and a man horizontally spread out on the slope of sidewalk leading up to said shops. I’m rarely intimidated by this because they are usually out cold and I feel genuine pity.
One day I saw the same man (horizontal slope sidewalk man) sleeping there for hours. I mean, hours. I was home from our walk cooking breakfast by 8 am, and around 1 pm I still saw his figure. I wondered if he was dead, truly.
Around 2 pm I peered out of my kitchen window again. I happened to look at the same time a black SUV was driving by, only to pause and hit reverse to speak to him. I watched the homeless man get up sluggishly, scratch his head, and speak to the driver. There was no mistaking the gestures and the body language: this was a straight up confrontation.
That means, black SUV had probably seen him there for as long as I did. Or maybe they didn’t. Either way, they felt self-righteous enough to demand this guy leave. I don’t know why it made me feel worse for the day. I’m not doing anything to help homeless people. I didn’t walk over to him and offer him a blanket, some money, or some food. But I felt bad anyway.
3.
I’m still buying jigsaw puzzles way beyond the pandemic isolation period. To be fair, I was buying them before the pandemic. I decided I can only handle 500 pieces or else I turn into some kind of puzzle demon. It’s not cool.
When I looked it up, it turns out researchers at the University of Bath did a study on the various types of personalities associated with people who like jigsaw puzzles (introverts) and the way in which they complete a puzzle. For example, are you an edge completionist? Are you a piece-hoarder? Do you even take to hiding the pieces you find if playing with someone else?
“A person’s jigsaw strategy closely reflects both their personality and level of skill, and although they may not be as extreme as opportunist or border obsessive, they frequently share behaviour with one of these two extremes.”
I don’t know why this interested me so much, but I truly wanted more information.
4.
Running is freedom. Being able to run, and run well, is one of the most freeing things I have ever experienced in my entire life. I have more on this, but I think I’ll save it.
5.
In our last session together, my therapist let me go over in our session by almost an hour. I wrote nine-pages of swirling content on myself. But it wasn’t a “me, me, me” kind of thing. It was truly an attempt to present an overview of friendships, my experiences with bullying, romantic relationships, and grief. Almost in an out-of-body sort of way.
When I walked out of the building it felt like somebody hit the power button without warning me first. I drove home and gabbed to Nick the whole time. Who knew I had something left to say?
My point? If you are fortunate enough to fit it into your budget, therapy (whether you believe you need it or not) with the right person? It’s the best fucking thing in the world.
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